Reflection

Part 1-Thinking and Writing

The bedtime story How I Became a Dog Bowl was a story that I told to my daughter the day before I wrote it on our field trip to Connemara. In this piece, I wanted to include all the elements of a fairy tale/bedtime story (hero/heroine, interesting plot, colorful characters, fictional elements, and of course a happy ending) while entertaining and calming my daughter so that sleep would soon come. The main ideas was simple: Mrs. Tea, the protagonist, encounters a conflict, cracked pot, and then has to resolve it. I orally told this story to my daughter the night before but then putting in a written, long-hand form was difficult up in the mountains of Connemara. First, my handwriting is terrible and my mind works faster than my pen so I omit details. Second, it was difficult to recall everything that I said the night before. This piece helped me with dialog. This has always been difficult for me because I am usually too lazy to add all of the punctuation needed, and I feel that the dialog that I write sounds unrealistic. Cathy shared a fairy tale piece at Connemara using goats as her main characters and this really inspired me to focus on dialogue. Her dialogue was inspiring and true to life.
The fictional story A Piece of Juicy Fruit was inspiried by Laurie's demo with the picture of a couple on a street. I was intrigued by this picture so I wrote a story to explain it. The main idea was pretty simple with a mother explaining to her child how she met the child's dad: two people meeting on the street in a unique situation, one street performer and the other an observer of the performance, and then they walk and talk and eventually fall in love. In this writing, I worked on the reason or purpose for the story, explanation to a young child, the time sequence, and finally realistic dialog. Once again, I learned that writing authentic dialogue is difficult and a slow process; however, it is a rewarding process. I learned to listen to people and that much of what makes a person who they are is in what and how they say. Laurie' demo focused on voice in writing and using short sentences in certain situations for emphasis. Hence, the sentence "I like him," in the story. It shows that the main character had decided to fight all the reasons why she shouldn't like this person on the street and just go for it. The short sentence worked.
The quote analysis piece was inspired by a quote given by Dawn for journal writing time on June 12. I was trying to figure out the quote as I wrote so I related it to things in my life. The main idea of the piece is comparing building castles and making foundations to marriage and having children, then cloud watching, and finally Carl Sandburg. I started the piece at Connemara in the morning with our journal after Dawn read some excerpts from Sandburg's writing and our focus was nature. Then, I added to it when I found the cloud poem in the house, and again with the quote on June 12th. As I was writing, I realized how everything is so connected: nature, marriage, writing, etc. I also used information from Rebecca's Kaminski's demo on Finding a Poem in Three Parts by going from prose to poetry or from poetry to prose. The two forms can flow back and forth and aren't so disjointed as I previously thought.
My Demo Reflection piece is simply a research look at my demonstration for the summer institute. For this piece I was trying to apply a different focus to my demonstration and evaluate it. The main idea of the piece and my demonstration is using qualitative and quanitative observations in descriptive writing. This writing was strictly professional and nonfiction with a reflective spin. During this writing I was breaking down my strategy for the demonstration to make it stronger.
Some important craft lessons that I've learned this summer are using music and movement to reinforce and produce writing (Kristen Gault), using drawing to aid in writing (Paige Eubanks), and using drama to aid in writing (Erica Sweatman).

Part 2-Process and Revision

I revised A Piece of Juicy Fruit in three main ways. Katie Eyles on the anthology suggested that the oopening paragraph was not as strong as the rest of the piece so I deleted a simile comparing the performer in the piece to a sick young child. I also used Wendi Jewell's idea and added more character description about the girl in the piece by adding some questions and I added a few more pieces of dialogue to add some interest. Finally, I took many suggestions from Laurie McCall. She is in my writing group so we had one on one time and she responded on the anthology. She helped me with adding more believable dialogue and making sure my verb tense was consistent. On the anthology she suggested that I eliminate redundancy with the word cup so I changed it to a certain type of coffee, Cappucino.
One of my favorite pieces on my blog is Barbie Towel and I used Tim Mathew's comment on the anthology to edit it. He suggested deleting the debate between my husband and I over the entire experience. I was struggling with the ending anyway so his suggestion was appreciated. With the revision, I focused more on my daughter being safe and not on my marital debate. I also added more action to my reaction to my dog after the canoe flipped. I was leary to add this because it seems harsh to ignore her and only focus on my daughter, but when it comes down to it, she was and is more important. I think these revisions made the piece's focus, my daughter, more evident.
The quote analysis is a compulation of writing experiences: two journal writing experiences and the field trip to Connemara. The piece started at Connemara after Dawn's journal writing which focused on writing like Carl Sandburg. Cloud watching is one of my favorite activities so I wrote a poem about clouds. Then, I found a poem about clouds at the visitor center at Connemara so I added it. Then back at the University Center the quote by Thoreau immediately matched with the entire experience at Connemara. Finally, I revised this piece of writing by adding cooking verbs with mixing and whips and kneading and simmering and freeze. For a journal writing activity, Kris had us brainstorm cooking, building, and sports verbs. Then, we were to use them in a different type of situation. I went back to this piece and revised it with these verbs. It made the piece not so technical but spunky.
The bed time story, How I Became a Dog Bowl, was the most fun to write and revise. I revised it based on advice from Frankie Mengeling on the anthology. I added dialog for Mrs. Crane upon noticing the crack. I also took his advice and I've got my daughters to work as my illustrators for the story. I also used Susan Helmink's suggestions on Chef Tony's carelessness by adding a dish for him to prepare-potato soup. I also deleted the term matriarch and replaced it with head of the household to appeal to a young audience.

Part 3

I learned from Laurie's blog to notice everything in the world: people, squirrels, artwork, graffiti, etc. Her writing is so descriptive and lively that I just want to jump into the stories and become a part of the it. For example, in her piece "Making Carl Proud," the very first sentence is dialog so I can automatically hear the characters. The young boy Lazarus in this piece speaks and his young and incorrect grammar and pronunciation are illustrated. For example, "Yeah, tanks," for "Yeah, thanks." The pictures that accompany her blog also add to the overall thoughtful and descriptive mood of her writing and her blog.
I also learned from Angie Neal's Blog to have faith in writing and a strong voice I perused her blog because I love the writing that she was always willing to share so I assumed that her blog would be just as good. It was. In her piece called "Wishing Flowers" , she has a great metaphor for weeds "a wishing wand for barefoot children." I love her enthusiasm and gusto and zeal in her writing. Her writing is also very spiritual and insightful. This is an aspect in my life that I could reflect more upon and write with passion.
Paige's blog is overflowing with personification. I love the simple way that her writing picks you up and takes you on a journey. You don't immediately notice the personification, but by the end of the piece, it hits you. The personification of memories and a river are so calm and peaceful yet powerful and invigorating.