Three Crazy Men (well, maybe one boy)

Okay, so Laurie read this really cool piece called "Crazy in a Nut Shell" that was stream of consciousness like Ann Lamont, so here goes…That was a crazy night last night Dan says this morning with the four times, divorced, drunk friend, the unibomber, and the under-age drinking student. Yeah, it was I thought. When I met Dan at the pub, the four times, divorced, drunk friend, Mike, was there and drinking a lot. He was loud and obnoxious as usual. I feel sorry for him and all but he is just odd. He was actually shot by a student when he was teacher at McDuffy High School and he tells everyone the story. But anyway, I can only take so much of him. Then, I ask Dan is Mike okay to drive because I was getting in my mommy mode, as Dan calls it. Dan says he fine and to stop worrying. Yeah, right. As a mommy, I worry all the time. Pretty soon, this unusual guy walks in the bar. He looks Indian or something and I like talking to those people, not that I’m racist or prejudice or anything, but they are usually very interesting and cool. He was really different looking. I couldn’t quite tell his ethnicity. He was like dirty or something or maybe Native American. I don't know. But anyway, he is carrying this orange cooler type bag, and of course, just my luck, he sits right next to me at the bar. And exactly at that moment, my husband decides to go to the bathroom. Not the time to leave me alone. I mean it's not like scared or anything just uncomfortable. He immediately starts moaning about needing a cigarette, so I thought that saying that to get one of mine, so I offer him one. He says that he has one in the car and he needs to go and get it. Finally Shane, the bartender, walks over and this guy asks him if he can leave his bag at the bar while he gets his smoke. Shane is a really cool bartender and person. He is actually Irish and works in an Irish pub. Cool, huh! We were invited to his wedding a few years ago so maybe that means we spend too much time in this bar. But McGees is like my Cheers, where everyone knows your name. Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah... I always talk to people at bars or wherever because people are so interesting. Anyway, he leaves and leaves his orange bag that he brought in with him. I instantly think of the unibomber and leaving bags somewhere. Like in the airport, don’t leave your bags unattended. Maybe it had something to do with the IRA and British fighting and blowing up this Irish bar. Then a waitress walks over with a puzzled look in her eyes. She says that she knows that guy, the unibomber, came in with a bag but then didn’t leave with a bag. I tell her about the unibomber image I have and then Shane comes back and says that the guy is just a fucking idiot. Shane's Irish accent said it more like fouucking idiot. I love Irish accents. Then Dan returns and we, me, Dan, Shane, and the waitress, all debate about looking in the bag. Well, I'm glad we didn't look because here comes the unibomber with a cigarette and starts talking about South Dakota and so I instantly say that I was born there and we start chatting about the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore and the snow. Well, then Dan and I decide to go to Fuij, a Japanese Steakhouse. As soon as we walk in, Dan sees an old student at the bar named Jasco. I think that's his last name but I'm not really sure. So Dan says Jasco what’s up. Me, Jasco, and Dan talk about the food and sushi. Jasco has his own set of chopsticks that he brings to the restaurant. Dan has some too but he always forgets to bring them. After a beer or two, Jasco shows us his left arm with about five small red holes. I say what have you been doin’ shootin’ up or something. He says that he woke up the other morning with safety pins stuck in his arm and he couldn't quite remember how it happened because he was really drunk. I instantly go into Mommy mode again and say did you go to the doctor, did you tell your parents. Well, no, he did neither. Then I ask Jasco, how old are you and when did you graduate. Well, Dan and Jasco change the subject and start talking about The Grateful Dead and touring and such and then after sushi and rice and veggies and beer we leave. As we exit, Dan says that Jasco is only 19 so that is why they gave me “the look” when age came up so okay that’s it. The four times, divorced, drunk friend, the unibomber, and the underaged drinking student. It was quite a night and I don’t have crazy nights anymore because of my mommy mode and all but it was fun.